The Pit In The Bottom Of My Heart

In the course of our lives with Jesus, He begins to heal us. It is a continual process as He digs deeper into our hearts, and roots out the hidden faults and traumas we own. It is all a part of dying to the flesh, yet at times we might wish we could just get nailed to a cross and get it over with, for He often heals us one layer at a time as we give it up to Him. It is a process because the wounds run deep, the sources of them hidden in the mists of time. He will make you aware of hurts from the past, things you had long forgotten. The purpose of this is for you to hand them over to Him and be rid of them. Yet many of us brood over the old hurts, instead. While I was brooding once recently, He told me this in a journal entry.

“David, in the depths of your heart there are more terrors than any you will find in the physical world. That is what makes the world of men so dangerous, each person has his or her own pit in the bottom of their heart, and they dredge up the worst parts of their character from it. The pit is comprised of all of the extreme disappointments and close calls in a person’s life. It contains all of the betrayals and perceived injustices the person has experienced in their life. The pit is full of the stuff that horror stories are written from, it is the source of revengeful motives, deeply held fears, unholy desires, and many another of the person’s shortcomings. Many people have shoved the pit and it’s fetid fruit so far into the back of their minds that they are almost completely unaware of it’s influence over their lives.

It is too much to expect that a person would turn from these foundations of their persona and walk away, for indeed they believe that this is who they are. With fleshly eyes one cannot see beyond the pit, it limits us and walls us in. It is the familiar skyline of our lives, in the flesh it is impossible to abandon the pit, but with the Spirit all things are possible.

Hand over your deepest fears, hatreds, and resentments, let go of them and look to Me to fill the void. I will not leave you in this condition. I am the one person in your life who can be relied upon. I am by your side, and in your heart. After I heal the rift in your heart you can begin to build anew, and I will supervise the new, it will all be sound, with firm foundations. You will cease to be the same old man, you will become a new creation.”

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6 Comments on “The Pit In The Bottom Of My Heart”

  1. Mike Says:

    I had a thought from our recent vacation that is too fitting to not share here. I have thought to write a piece on it but just have not had the time. So I will at least make a comment. Hopefully I will be able to do the piece later.

    As I said, we recently took a family vacation. 21 people on a cruise in the Bahamas. It had been a while since I had been in such close proximity to so many who had not learned the benefits of moderation. There was a time that I had not; and sadly to say . . . even in my Christian years.

    The point though is the lure is there. As far removed from it as I am, there is still that seed. Most of the time there is not even a hint of it, but occasionally there is a reminder.

    As new life was once burried by the lures of the old, now it is the old that is buried by the new. As I am reminded from time to time, it is not complete dead.

    Sad that so many are still in its clutches. Glad that we for the most part have escaped them. The old may not be completely dead, but we are definitely a new creation.

    I figured if you could be honest, I could too.


    • Nathan Says:

      Hi Mike;
      I very much appreciate your honesty, I once was a person much given to excess. Even after I turned away from that life, I found it nearly impossible to say no when a family member poured another glass of wine for me or heaped my plate with more turkey on holidays. It is hard to push aside their world without condemning it, but we can. The world has made a practice of enjoying God’s blessings without acknowledging Him. They do not want to see His hand in their provision, for they want to idolize their own efforts, their hard work or perhaps their peculiar talents.

      It has been said that H.L. Hunt, once the richest man in the world, believed that he had a genius for making money, and in his mind he justified having several secret families in the hope he would pass his genius on to his many children. The funny thing is that he was a member in good standing at First Baptist, in Dallas, TX the whole time. The enemy works on us that way to con us into thinking that we are naturally endowed with some innate gift or some mythical privilege. We may have gifts alright, but they are sadly abused and mostly useless until we get lined up with the what the Giver wants us to do.

      I hear you about the temptation to fall into old ways, and cruises, I have heard, are the worst (best?) place for temptations, with buffets piled high with any and everything you might desire. These are the things, our old delusions and our easy forays into excess, which can distract us from the goal. Ultimately, we are only as effective as our obedience to God allows. The enemy would like to sidetrack us, and keep us neutralized. Thank God He wakes us from the bad dream and puts our feet back on the path. We must always return to Him, no matter how far we might wander. Some folks become obsessed with their peccadillos, they allow the things they have done to crowd out the fact that if we turn to Him, the Great Physician can heal us no matter what we have done. The sins are not important, His forgiveness and grace are. We must always remember, the Shepherd is always glad when He restores a lost sheep, we must not avoid reconciliation out of fear.

      Our temptations are like a reality check, to succumb or even to be aware of the fact that we are vulnerable is a cue that we should throw ourselves on His great mercy, depend on Him, and forget about our petty dreams of worldly glory, or momentary enjoyment.

      When we abandon everything the world has to offer we will find Him waiting to hug and kiss us, put a ring on our fingers, and clothe us in His righteousness. When we abandon our earthly inheritance we stand to inherit everything, and He is everything.



  2. Mike Says:

    There is a void that only God can fill. Sadly it is not only the world that is trying to fill it with everything else, but so are many Christians. My only hope is that the Lord would use me to help some see as He has helped me.

  3. Reading your journal entries, I sense God truly speaking to you and through you, to me as well. This is so good and so true.

    We try to satisfy that yawning pit of emptiness within in so many ways, and nothing can ever fill that pit save the One who fills all things with Himself. Yet we throw all our money into it, we buy costly toys and clothing and throw them in, we sacrifice men and women and children to our emptiness. Nothing helps for more than a moment, and then we’re off seeking some new sacrifice to ourselves to try to fill ourselves up.

    But only He can satisfy. How wonderfully and amazingly good He is to give us Himself. Who are we that we can say, “My Beloved is mine and I am His; His banner over me is love?” But His love has made it possible

    • Nathan Says:

      This morning I was having my quiet time and It occurred to me that each day in this crazy world it is as if we are thrown unprepared into deep water to fend for ourselves. Of course, if we are willing to see it Jesus is there with a boat (an ark?) to pick us up. The truth is without Him, we are all floundering.

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